Genesis 10

Another chapter devoted to an endless list of difficult names and family relations! Good thing we have all this stuff written down and sold around the world more than 100 million times every year, or how would I ever know that Togarmah was the son of Gomer, who was himself the son of Japheth (who was one of Noah's sons, if you can't remember, which would hardly be surprising at this point).

One random descendant who gets special attention is Nimrod (ha!), son of Cush, son of Ham. He was "the first on earth to become a mighty warrior." Given that, by this point, it's already been hundreds or thousands of years, I'd bet that there have been some mighty warriors. Mankind is good at nothing if not trying to kill each other! Apparently Nimrod was the original badass, though. "Therefore it is said, 'Like Nimrod a might hunter before the Lord.'" Sounds to me like nothing more than an explanation for a pithy statement of the time. Weird to get a mention like that.

Nimrod's kingdom included Shinar (Babel, Erech, Accad), and Assyria (Nineveh, Rehobothir, Calah, Resen). Canaan has a bunch of sons and they spread out from Sidon to Gaza, "in the direction of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboiim," whatever that means. Shem's brood takes over from Mesha to Sephar. Spoiler alert: Some of these places might be important later!

And that's it. Thrilling chapter, wrapped up with this gem of a line: "From these the nations spread abroad on the earth after the flood."

So yes. All 7 billion people on this planet are descended from Noah, whose sons established some nations all in the same vicinity. Not to mention that all of them were originally descended from one couple and the incestuous genealogy that followed. I don't know much about genetics, but I know enough to know that is complete BS.